What magnificence will you discover within yourself today?

Day 76, Crystals:

What if I looked for the divine in all things? What if I lived my life from a Namaste' experience? For a great deal of my life, I was so consumed with fear that I was unwilling to look at anything or anyone that didn't fit into my way of thinking. As you can imagine that path led to a very narrow way of seeing the world. Yet time and again, I couldn't understand why my family or friends was unwilling to love me for who I was. That which we put out comes back.

I grew up in a community that was often fueled by fear, anxiety, lies, and secrets. Yet it was all I knew. I remember a time of choice that I was given the opportunity to pass these secrets and lies down to another generation or break the cycle. I chose to educate and love. I chose to teach them about inappropriate behavior and to break a very violent cycle. I saw within this beautiful young soul such magnificence that I could not fathom repeating what had been perpetrated in my life. I wanted for them so much more than fear, anger and a lifetime of pain.

The journey I spoke about today in the Seasons of Change reading was a moment that helped me to start opening my life. I had finally found a place within myself that was willing to walk through the fear and feel my way to freedom. I had been so locked up in fear that I was unaware of the prison I had placed myself in. So often we live from a consciousness of hatred and anger at what someone else has said, or done, to us. We allow this act of hatred to consume us. We forget that we have a choice. For years, I lived my life in fear of being violated again so much so that I was unwilling to risk allowing anyone in. I was a successful manager of a thriving restaurant and yet if anyone brushed by me I would erupt in tears. I had chosen to allow my past to control all of my life and I placed myself in a constant state of flight.

One day while sitting in my office a member of the staff come in and asked was I ok? My answer was always "I'm fine!" This amazing person was in graduate school working on her masters in psychology. She asked could she give me some energy? I said no! She reminded me that I was magnificent, and I was worthy of love. I thanked her, excused her, and when about my business. A few days later I began to cry uncontrollably I found my way to her house and found myself knocking on her door crying hysterically. She asked me in and we began to talk. That was the beginning of one of the most amazing transformations in my life. We work together week after week letting go of the anger, resentment, and fear of the past. She reminded me week after week that it was my responsibility to negotiate my way to freedom. Her role was simply to stand with me along the journey.

Today when I sit with my clients I'll remind each and everyone one of them how brilliant they are. I remind them that it is their responsibility to find their way to freedom; but. I am happy to stand with them as they journey through this process. I remind them that we are in a safe space and that we can discuss anything they would like to discuss. I remind them that they are in a judgment free zone. If they feel stuck we just sit and wait. We're often so busy in a rush to get somewhere that we end up going nowhere. I've learned through a lifetime of expansion, and evolution that as much as I would love for someone from the outside to give me this freedom that I have been seeking. It is only when I walk the path for myself that I truly find that which I have been looking for.

What magnificence will you discover within yourself today that will allow you the courage to step through fear and find freedom?

I love you,

thank you,

Rev. Allen